Opining for the Fjords:

Martha Stewart found guilty! This seems to have unleashed a wave of hatred across the land for poor Martha. I've witnessed this venom myself, and it's hard for me to understand. Sure, Martha's not perfect. She seems to have done a little securities fraud. And yes, she's been accused of some kind of rageful assault on a landscaping professional. I think she also has some sort of TV show or magazine or something.

But let's not forget what Martha has done for the American cinema. Her contribution to the movies can not be measured. Her acting power, and her spiritual presence have graced two of the finest motion pictures of the last decade.

In Men in Black II, Martha's visage was projected against a giant screen at MIB headquarters. This presence lasted mere seconds, but the symbolism was crystal clear. Martha's spiritual power provided a sweeping backdrop for the action and style of the movie.

This brief cameo, however, makes me wonder if perhaps more dramatic footage had been shot, but cut from the movie before it was released. Conspiracy? Of course. Even in Hollywood, a bastion of ethics and moral uprightness, the anti-Martha element operates with impunity.

Big Trouble is a motion picture about the intersection of life-changing events in the lives of a group of strangers. Martha's presence is subtly inserted in scenes throughout the movie. TV screens bathe certain scenes with her calming presence. Magazines are placed strategically in some scenes. It is Martha's presence that oversees the change in the characters' lives.

In counterpoint to these wholesome influences, the movie uses chaotic images from TV's underworld. Xena the Warrior Princess rules the psychic space of the movie's violent characters. Is this dichotomy actually a classic, even biblical allegory for the epic struggle between Good and Evil? Does Martha Stewart, in fact, personify Good in the constant daily struggle of our 21st century lives? Obviously.

It's a Good thing.

So please, let's not join the screaming throngs calling for Martha's crucifixion. Let's try to remember her vast contribution to literature. Let's try to accept the Message of Martha, and forgive.