Steelers Lose. Governor Declares State of Emergency. (also, Flood Wipes out much of City)

Hurricane Ivan visited our fair city this weekend, depositing on us the most rain in the history of rain. Our mighty Three Rivers swelled and overflowed their banks. Every creek (pronounced "crick"), stream, run and rill exploded into a raging vortex of brown water and flotsam.

Low-lying areas of the city were flooded out, causing evacuations, semi-dramatic rescues, and sadly, at least one death.

The storm hit us hard on Friday afternoon. By the time rush hour rolled around, most of the major arteries of the city were threatened by flooding, mudslides, and fallen trees.

Xanthippe works in 'Tswiggly, a little town up North on the banks of the mighty Ohio River. Her homeward commute was harrowing, but she made it home safely.

Back at The Company, we opened a case of beer and made some salsa. We studied radar maps and monitored road closures as we plotted our commutes. Schrödinger, Lozenge and I carpooled home, searching for the elusive overland route from there to here.

The Banjo College Main Campus, perched as it is on a precipice, sustained little damage. A little moisture in the basement, a few flowers knocked down by rain, that's about it. We count ourselves very fortunate indeed.

Some time very early Saturday morning, the rain stopped. The sun came out and the floodwaters began to subside. People came out and surveyed the damage. They started the grim work of cleaning up.

On Sunday afternoon, while the city was still reeling from the effects of the flood, disaster struck again.

The Pittsburgh Football Steelers, heroes of the gridiron, journeyed to Maryland to face The Hated Ravens of Baltimore on the field of battle. It was to be a classic battle of good versus evil, with the inevitable result that good prevails in the end. Alas, this was not to be.

Those Bastards crushed our Steelers (pronounced "em Stillers"), and beat up our Quarterback. News of this new disaster drove soggy theologians from all over the city to the ancient texts, looking for signs of the coming Apocalypse.

The following scripture was found written on the side of a Trolley:

And it came to pass that in the year of the great flood, a carrion crow of great dimensions did darken the sky of the great city. And lo, it's shadow did pass over the city of steel. And the Lord smote the mighty arm of the leader of the eleven, and a great wailing did come over the land. And a Scary Beast did move in the shadow of the evil bird, and the number of the beast was fifty and two.

Mook 3:16

Don't start any long books, I guess.