Rock and Roll Never Forgets?

So There I stood, hunched over in a basement with a Stratocaster slung across my shoulders, playing songs by The Hoo, Alex Cooper, Twelve Mary Nine, and Six Doors Down. We had one rehearsal before the Big Show on Sunday afternoon, and we were getting our set together.

I know what you're thinking. "Stubby, you're going to be playing a Stratocaster on Sunday afternoon? Why, that's crazy talk! On Sunday afternoon, the Beloved Steelers of Pittsburgh are facing the Hapless Bengals of Cincinnati on the field of battle!"

Yes, but this is for a good cause.

You see, there's going to be a benefit for the Flood Victims. My buddy El Guapo, has a band that volunteered to play at this gig. Unfortunately, their guitar player has other plans. Even more unfortunately, the only guitar player they could find was a middle aged Banjo Philosopher who knows a few chords on the gee-tar.

That would be me: Stubby Phillips, Rock Star.

I was already in my pajamas when El Guapo called. This is a bad sign already. Rock Stars don't wear pajamas, and even if they do, they don't wear them at 7:00 in the evening. I put on some clothes and threw my Stratocaster in the trunk. I didn't know any of their songs, so I was
going to have to wing it. El Guapo and his Posse were just going to have to be patient with me.

Let me describe what it's like to be a rock and roll guitar slinger.

1. You've got a tube amplifier turned almost all the way up. You can feel the heat of the tubes. You can smell it. When you hit a sustained power chord, it's like a psychic wind that blows your skirt up in an old movie. Except you don't wear a skirt.


2. The drummer is the key to rock and roll. You have to do a vulcan-type mind-link and fall into the drummer's groove. Once you're there, it's like drafting in car races. You share the responsibility of keeping the beat, and you're more free to take a few risks.


3. About forty percent of what you play is made up right there on the spot. Lead guitar in rock and roll is like the saxophone in bebop: you never play it the same way twice.


4. Rock and roll is strophic. This means that the songs are usually written in verses, with the occasional bridge or instrumental section. That makes it pretty easy to learn rock and roll songs quickly if you have a good ear. This is what I was counting on to spare me undue
   embarrassment.

Wellsir, the rehearsal went ok, I guess. We learned about 8 songs. So if you're in Greentree, Pennsylvania tomorrow about 12:30, stop by the Oktoberfest and pay a few bux to watch me sink or swim.

It's for a good cause.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some practicing to do...