In Defense of IT

IT (pronounced "eye-tee") is the TLA (Two (or three) Letter Acronym (or Abbreviation)) du jour to identify the people in a modern business organization who are responsible for keeping everyone's computers running. They are often referred to as the "IT Nazis" (pronounced "fucking IT nazi bastards"). And given their centralized and almost militaristic control over the information (that is what the "eye" stands for in IT) infrastructure that keeps any modern company running, the moniker is typically deserved. But I am in a minority. I have sympathy for the fucking IT Nazi bastards. If the fascists were good at anything, so it is said, it was that they kept the trains running on time. I like that in a department that is dedicated to keeping my computer up and functional.

If you read enough Dilbert or have lunch often enough with the technology uber-kinder that I work with, you would believe that IT has a singular mission of thwarting productivity. But my mind always goes back to the poor Newport Connecticut sheriff who frequently had to be called in to go and remind Albert Einstein that he really needed to wear clothes when doing his yard work. Was this poor public servant whom history will never remember thwarting productivity? Perhaps, in some way. But I think the dear Albert was probably productive enough with his pants on, even if they did chafe a bit. And if society was deprived of an even better inconsistent theory of relativity as a cost, then that was probably an acceptable price to pay in the eyes of his neighbors who were tired of tourists crashing their cars into the park’s gazebo after seeing Albert nekkid.

So yeah, in order to keep the trains running on time, all of our Einsteins have to keep their pants on and suffer other indignities for the common good. I'm sure the Dilberts and uber-kinder could all tell us of better ways to protect our computers from virus attacks and troubleshoot all of the problems caused by downloading the latest gizmos and gadgets onto the corporate network, but that isn't their job. If they wanted that job, they could surely move into doing just that. The brown shirts are always recruiting. They have to because their jobs don't pay what the Einsteins get for doing yard work in the nude. But who do the Einsteins call when they cut their hoses off with the hedge clippers? And are they thankful for the help they get sewing their dicks back on? No. Never. All you ever hear is whining about how they were made to put their pants back on and ordered to use the tools they were given to do the jobs they are being paid to do.

I don't care if my garbage man does not efficiently stack my garbage on his truck after he takes it away. I just care that he picks it up on time and actually takes it away. If he tells me that I need to sort my trash alphabetically or stand my garbage cans upside down, I will not argue the logic as long as the garbage gets gone. The crap I will put up with is in direct proportion to the crap I need to dispense with. I don't want the garbage man's job even if I could do it better. And if he is courteous, I will even tip him.