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Dear Doctor Schrödinger,
The possibility that professional baseball
players may have been using steroids and other
performance-enhancing drugs has made me so angry that I can no
longer remember what countries we are currently at war with. I am
in such a blind lather that I can only hope my elected
representatives are smart enough to spend my retirement funds on
ad campaigns designed to convince all those “blue state” assholes
as to why we should pay more for drugs than those
godsdamn Canadians. Christ, those
Eskimo-loving, freedom-hating “Maple Leaf Democrats” really get me
going. Seems like they are willing to legalize any drug under the
sun as long as they don’t have to pay too much for it. If it
weren’t for us red-blooded, red-state Americans, they wouldn’t
even have a baseball team. And if it weren’t for us paying top
dollar for weed, where would the funds come from to develop future
drugs, like a variety of weed that was also addictive? The
bastards!
- Rube Sheep |