Superhero Names for All

It's axiomatic. Each of us moves through life as Clark Kent. Our daily lives barely conceal the inner superhero buried deep inside us. You know it. You could leap that tall building in a single bound if you had sufficient reason and, of course, a superhero name to bellow as you vaulted the Centre City Tower on Smithfield Street.

Mine's "Mandor!"

It bellows with authority. It sounds vaguely Teutonic. And I'm fairly certain that it hasn't been taken.

My wife, Xanthippe, has her own superhero name.It's "Mandress!". I think the exclamation point is essential in the spelling of a superhero name, although Superman and The Green Lantern might disagree.

How did we come by our superhero names? The names were there all along, speaking to us. We learned to listen. It's an introspection thing. You know.

Some people maintain that these names do not conform to the superhero name formula. These people insist that a superhero name must clearly announce the superhero's superpower. This is preferably followed by "man" or "woman" or "boy" or "girl".

To them, I say, "There are more kinds of superheroes than just that. It takes a village. You know."

So, as a service to the superhero community at large, and to help create a "big tent" for heroes of all stripes and nomenclatures, I'm creating a Superhero Name Registry, or SNR for short.

What, you might ask, can I do to get my very own superhero name?

Let's suppose that you have superpowers and a deep respect for Truth, Justice and the American Way. All you really lack is a name.

Or maybe you think that someday you might develop a superpower and you want to have a name to bellow when the time comes.

All you have to do is listen with your inner ear. It's kind of like your third eye, only an ear. You know.

When the supervoice inside you bellows softly but authoritatively the name of your very own superpersonna, take a moment to click on the link below and register your very own superhero name with the SNR. You'll probably get a certificate or something, and your name will be etched into the registry database, which I'll post below (again, in handy tabular format). Allow 6 months for delivery.

Secret Identity	Superhero Name	Superpowers
Stubby Phillips	Mandor!	None yet.
Stubby Phillips	Defenso	What's that supposed to mean?
Xanthippe Phillips	Mandress!	Sharp Tongue.
Clark Kent	Superman	Faster than a speeding bullet etc.
Millionaire Bruce Wayne	Batman	Amazing toys
1/2	The Ladder	Crossword supremacy
Maurice Bryant	DynoMan	Strength, Speed, Vision, Invulnerability, and Flight.
Sybil	Sybil, little nicky, Janet the Bitch, Big Ethel McGillicuddy, Little Ethel McGillicuddy, Bob, Bob the Builder, Bob the Whore, the other broter Bob, et.al.	Multiple Personalities
Jono Fairfield	The Jono	The Jono can instantly make himself very, very heavy. It is also believed that he can make himself very, very light. It is surprising how useful these superpowers actually are. He is, however, not fast (viz)